I miss you surfer boy. You who loves drinking snapple. :(
I realized that if I write here, I wouldn't bother writing in my journal and vice-versa. :| dang. Will post here again next time. I was supposed to be watercoloring today but skipped it as my highschool friends had invited me to go out with them. I missed hanging out with them. I love them all. I love my friends. I may not be always around but I guarantee them that I'll always be their friend. Whatever happens.
♥
I'm starting to miss him. I miss you, snapple boy.
I get insecure when I read a very good writing. I'm really frustrated with my style of writing because it seems like it's all going down the drain. I find my writing inconsistent and grammatically flawed. It is not that I want to write perfectly but I am hoping that I could at least write interestingly with few grammatical errors and only a bit of inconsistencies. But I don't know I am not at all pleased with my kind of writing. :[
~ sigh ~ How come others can write so good even though it's simple?
I just think that my writings are a bit trying hard. Don't you think?
I cried watching National Geographic Channel's Great Migrations. I cried because the animals never fails to make me soft. It didn't help that the cinematography was magical and narration was poetic.
I tried to distract myself from worrying about my application in this multinational company that I applied to. I don't want to even think or even consider the idea that I may not be getting a job offer because it's really my target. I tried not thinking something negative about it but dang even though how much I try, the thought has been nagging me since earlier and now it's starting to depress me. Please, I want it so badly. Please, God?
10:29 PM
I am thinking of writing my story again but I don't know how my story would go. Shiesh this kind of project never really last in my hands. I mean whenever I think about writing a story I couldn't stick with it because when a day passes I'd suddenly thought of another of story with a different plot. The project, therefore, was short lived. :[
And I can't do short lived stories if I want to be a writer. I also have to practice my writing. I write like a 10 year old kid.
10:34 PM
I need to do something substantial in my life. I cannot live forever like this. I need to find an organization that I can be active on. Do something that matters to someone. Not just to me. It's just that I really believe that we are born because we have a purpose not just to live.
I am thinking of being an environmentalist hmmm ... but I also wanted to take home for the aged as a charity. :/
10:37 PM
I think I should go. I'm really starting to feel sleepy and I'm kinda depressed and feeling a bit down. I think I'd sleep and hope for a better day tomorrow.
10:48 PM
This entry makes my head ache. hahahaha! I mean, it's kind whine-y and I contradict myself too much. But blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
It was a little before ten, right after I biked when I went to our terrace to watch for the stars and feel the early blow of Christmas season. Out of nowhere I noticed a silhouette in the far corner of the terrace, perched on top of the marble.
There was no light in the terrace so solid forms was in silhouette. I came nearer and realized that it was cat. A black cat with white fur on its chest and a fancy black bow tie. A black bow tie? Probably a lost cat. Funny looking cat though.
The cat sat so stiffly like as if it was a statue. I almost had the urge to clap in front of it just to see it move and confirm to myself that it is indeed alive.
I shook my head.
What a silly thought, I told to my self.
"I have been waiting ..." someone said.
When I heard someone someone spoke, I jumped a little to where I was standing, The voice was in its perfect baritone in a perfect accent I have never heard in my life. American?
"Actually it is English; and if you are observant enough as you claim to be you know that it is I who had spoken". The voice said so flawlessly.
I slowly turned my head to where the cat was sitting and looked at the it curiously. It didn't move from its position, not even blinked but it looked at me so straightly in the eye and I suddenly felt a rush of cold wind touched my spine...
I'm still waiting for Castle to finish. When Castle finishes, I'll be watching it then Gossip Girl. I thought of catching up with this series even though I am way behind the season. I'm only in season 3, but hey it's not yet too late right?
Anyway, for now, I am going to watch Ted's show. I didn't watch it yesterday because I wanted to sleep early. Sorry love. (Pretending like he can read this is becomes fun!) :P
Oh creeps. I really should shut up and stop dictating what I am downloading.
7:15 PM
Whenever I check this fan-blog's email that I am moderating, it never fails to make me feel anxious. Anxious because I don't know if a mail will surprise me. You know, nut fans they exists.
7:43 PM
This short story that I'm reading gives me an idea that something is going to happen soon. I mean something ... er ... sexual. It' awkward and I feel weird. bwahahahha!
I was a bit distracted because I have to help someone upgrade their firefox. :) Oh well back to reading.
Since good news arrived yesterday I was in buoyant mode. With this, I decided to rewatch my favorite films and of course one of them is: Robin Hood (2010).
This movie is just beyond words. I know it might be a little "Gladiator knock off" but hell it was totally different. I don't know how others think that it's similar to Gladiator when the only similarity there is how Russell Crowe looked like. Seriously, if that's the case, it can be forgiven. No Harm Done.
The movie had done justice, the cinematography part (I'm not really familiar with the legend itself). The acting wasn't bad. The setting was cool. It was good.
The ending was a cliffhanger! So Robin Hood was proclaimed an outlaw but what happens next? I know, we all the legend; but I certainly want to see it in Ridley Scott's perspective. Plus, Russell and Cate undeniably have a chemistry.
I noticed that I no longer read enthusiastically like I used before. It scares me to think that reading may no longer be as interesting to me as it used to. :( I need to get back to my own "reading" mood before I totally stopped reading.
For now, I am reading Haruki Murakami's The Elephant Vanishes. Murakami's books are interesting it's just that it's so unfortunate that my attention span seems lessening. Shiesh.
Oy, I am looking forward to next week. I think next week holds something very important for me, something life changing? :) hehehe!
