Stranger magnet

I attract strangers.

Every time I go out alone a stranger would come to me for a short talk. I was telling myself that probably I look nice for them to approach me. hahaha! <--- vain :) Anyway I'd tell you about one of those person I met, her name is Lily. She had been living in US, she's a Filipino and now she's here in the Philippines. We talked about US and about the book that I am currently reading. She told me about her family. There's something about Lily you know. I mean when she talk about her family, her eyes seem to twinkle. Seriously, there's something so strangely happy in her eyes when she talk about her family. She told me about her sons and daughter and every time she says their name, her face lit up. There was one line though that stayed with me. "One day Ange (her daughter) was just a baby now she's already married. Yesterday, I was just a lady now a grandmother. Time goes by, and you'll never notice it until your daughter or son reach a certain event in their life. From their first fall, to their first breakup, to their graduation, and to their wedding. Everything passes, only love doesn't." and just like that, she stared fixed somewhere I don't know. It seemed like she was no longer talking to me but to herself. I pat her arm and said "Thanks"

 

That's how she looked like. If you see her, please say hi for me

I like meeting people because I want to hear their stories. I've met a few strangers and I can still recall those strangers who had shared their story with me. This lady, ms. Lily will surely be an added to those people who shared so little yet meant so much to me. Wherever you are ms. Lily I think you are a wonderful person. ♥

I don't want to be like HIM.

My dad thinks that credit card is an advantage when in truth, it isn't. I was pissed with my dad earlier because he's insisting that I spend my money on buying an LCD. To say, there's really no problem. The thing that pisses me off is the fact that he wanted me to buy LCD through Credit Card.

During our discussion he was also telling me to invest on insurance (like PAG-IBIG) when in truth, investing in insurance isn't on the top list of my investing plans.

What adds to me annoyance is when he told me not to save this early. He told me to spend on things first. I have been reading books about finance and expanding my expenses is the last thing on my mind. He told me to start saving by 30. I think not. You see I don't want to start saving by 30 because by then I'll have an enough of money by what? 50? I want to save and expand my savings as early as I can. I want to spend my money on objects that will generate an income for me or at least will teach me more about financial literacy; not exactly in leisure and materials to make me look like a millionaire or wealthy.

You see, I really don't want to follow him. I want to take risk. If I'll end up losing large sum of money then so be it. Let me learn from my mistakes. Let me take risk and win (or fail). If I win, I'd gain a treasure of wisdom and gold. If I lost then I'd gain a lesson.

I don't like being dictated how I should spend my money because I am old enough. Plus, he's not financially successful so I don't want to follow his footsteps. I think, he thinks that he's protecting but he's not. What he's doing is directing me exactly on the way he went through.

My father has a mind of a middle class. The only thing that puts money in his pocket is his job and the rest goes to tax and expenditures that will make him look wealthy. Looking wealthy is not on my priority list, okay?

Seriously, the last thing I want to be is to be like biological father, financially speaking that is.

So what now?

One of the things that I thought while I was working is that I am doing exactly the same thing. I wake up early in the morning, take a bath, eat, go to work, watch T.V / read book, sleep, then wake up again in the morning.  It becomes a routinary for me. Also, earning doesn't help at all because when I earn, a part of it goes to my parents, to my monthly savings, extra expenses, leisure,  but again go back to work and wait for the end of the month to have my salary. I came to realize that I am exactly going nowhere. I'm just living in a cycle.

While I was on a break contemplating about life, I thought that I do not want this routine for the rest of my life. I have to do something about it or else I'll die with only purpose of having clothes, survived, enjoyed a few pleasure in life, and then nothing. It's will all be like as if I have never existed. And the only proof of my existence is my grave stone. I might as well put there "This certifies that a certain Leah existed".

When I came into realization that that's all I am going to do for the next 10 years of my life or so, I thought not. You see, there's this desire in me to step out of being someone in the background. Someone who works according to someone's dictation, work for me to survive, work just to have my fill. NO. I can't. I just can't tread the water for the rest of my life, I have to emerge from it.

So I was driven by these questions, and now suffice it to say that I have few answers. I cannot say the answers because some may not exactly understand my philosophy. But I'll mention one important answer: Contribute to the world.

Honestly, in my opinion, it's not just okay to live in this world filling our only needs and wants. It's not enough to just live and have family. We have to contribute to our world. I haven't done it yet, but it's because I am starting. But I'll say that it's one of my important plans. I need to touch someone's life. I need to build the world that my God has entrusted to me. I need to give hope for my brothers and sisters because my Dad wants me to do this. Now, this is the purpose that had struck in my mind. I cannot just live my life but I have to live for others and for our world.

I might say that this "wisdom" that I have acquired is given to me by my Father and best friend, God. I had been praying to him about life and my purpose of existence. And I believe that through this everyday wisdom I get is His way of talking to me, of guiding me as His daughter, and best friend. I believe that God wanted me to be like this.

Thanks Dad! I won't let you down.

Being employed

This monday or probably Tuesday I'll start working for a multinational company. I am actually excited about it because it's a brand new start for me because first, I'll be able to start all over again. Second, I can start building my savings plan. Third, I'll learn new things. I am excited for my first two years there. I know there are a lot of things that will happen but I am all positive. I also have plans already but there are all drafts in my head -- if God is so willing, He'll be able to help me construct it and execute my plans.

I am excited for what awaits me. God willing, this will all come out as planned but if not I know He has a better plan than I have.

Puffing Away Life

Let me tell you about puffing away life.

Puffing away life is when you sit in front of the computer surfing the net never doing anything productive. You visit the same website, you see the same content, yet you still refuse to stop visiting it. Puffing away life is when you let the day gone by watching the sun set and sun rise by just being in the same position, your shadow the only one moving. Puffing away life is lost opportunity you should have taken because you are too afraid to take it. Puffing away life is when you are controlled by your inner demons and fears never letting you touch the ray of happiness within your reach. Puffing away life is when you wait for god-knows-what only you really wait for nothing in the end. Puffing away life is when you wait inside your room waiting for that call that will never come. Puffing away life is cigarette spent not really smoked. Puffing away life is you justifying mistakes only to cover up the should have beens.

Puffing away life is writing senseless entries like this. Not benefiting from anything other than the fact that you are spending your life away one word at a time.

Nostalgia over Maalaala Mo Kaya

Earlier today I suddenly got a pang of nostalgia over my old "ship". I used to ship them like way back 8 years ago. hahaha! I don't know I suddenly thought of them. I am a funny little kid mind you. So I'm not surprised there. lol! :))

Anyhow, anyhow, anyhow. I've been scanning some old threads in this popular local forum and I stumbled upon Maalaala Mo Kaya thread (Maalaala Mo Kaya is a drama anthology show in our local channel) and there are topics in which they discussed what episode would people want to see again. In my case there are few episodes that I wanted to see.

1. The Wedding Vow -- This is the Eric Quizon, Carmina Villaroel episode. Eric here has a mental illness which he kept a secret from his wife. It was just later that Carmina found out about his illness. Eric was so great in his acting. I can clearly remember how much I have cried in this episode. This was shown July 1997. hahaha! I could no longer find a copy anywhere in WWW.

2. The Charlie Davao pre-Christmas episode -- This is the Jean Garcia, Ricky Davao episode. This was way back 1900's where Charlie was on his top career and with good life. Charlie was diagnosed with something. I can't clearly remember it because I had to turn off the T.V because we had a novena with my family. But I got into some parts. It was really touching. Anyhow the story was about a certain point of Charlie and his first wife Emma's life. I liked Jean and Ricky here (December 18, 2003).

 Oh this is not an MMK picture still. 

I just used the picture because it has them in it.

3. Manika -- This featured Jean Garcia, Ricky Davao, and Angelica Panganiban. Jean Garcia is an OFW while Ricky stays at home to take care of their only child -- Angelica only that a tragedy came where in Angelica was rape and murdered. The pivotal scene there was when Ricky called Jean and could hardly tell her the sad news. (2004?)

4. Billyard -- This is the Matthew (forgot his last name) and G. Tongi (did I get the last name right?) episode. Matthew was the good boy and G. Tongi was slutty girl in the university. It was cute love story. So I wanted to watch it but hardly see a copy on line.(????) :(

Anyway I really ought to find Maalaala Mo Kaya DVD. I hope there are DVDs sold somewhere in Video Stores.

stream of thoughts at 6:03 PM

If there's anything that I admire so far in blogging it's Stephen Fry. I like Stephen Fry's wit. I wish I have the same cleverness as he has. I am saying that because I am blogging right now and so far I have been thinking of what to blog about. Since, nothing so substantial seem to cross my mind, I might as well be spontaneous. Don't we love spontaneity?

And since we are already in the topic of blogging I once hanged-out with this two people and they both have this little notebooks with them and whatever interesting comes out of our topic they'd jot it down, saying "Now I have something to blog about". Hmm ... Maybe I ought to do the same. I just find it amusing that they really have those notebooks with them. Isn't that a little OC, no?

***

Let me just get my bar of Kit-Kat. In blogging most people talk about their life. To tell something about my life, I am still as I was yesterday, a week ago, and the last few months. I think my life is a little bit boring. I don't have the life like of those in the T.Vs that I watch. I don't slay dragons, chase bad guys, getting into a social event, being chased by photographers, not even diagnosing patients. I am just me. Being me, isn't really interesting. I wake up in the morning, poach eggs, prepare myself a coffee, read the news, and just go on into my life routinely. Things happen, just as the same. I wish something exciting happens. Like in one of those movies. A simple girl who has a simple life then suddenly went to a different turn and her life changed drastically. Like Harry Potter, like the guy that James McAvoy played in Wanted that kind of change. hahaha!

***

I'll just get a glass of water but to say I must admit that something has changed in my life. But nothing as exciting as I have mentioned earlier. What has changed is the way I think. I changed right after I was introduced into Create Abundance a few months ago. I think that group had ridiculously change my life into 90º turn. Now I can say that I am more prepared to face my future -- that is financially speaking. But there's  more to discover about life really. I haven't been able to experience a lot since I am mostly sheltered. I cannot really say that I am tough because I haven't been toughen a bit by world yet. But I am more than ready (and so is my heart) for whatever may come.

Hahaha sounds like as if I am ready to get into a fight eh? Well, life's tough. It's a survival, me thinks. :D